So it's February 14th. As someone who has been unattached most every Valentine's Day of her life, February 14th has never been a big day for me. And honestly I've never felt cheated or mad about it before because why would I? I'm all for celebrating love and happiness and genuinely revel in others good fortune.
But this year was different. This year I've had a raging case of baditude. As the angst and cynicism boiled inside of me, the less and less happy I've felt about the approaching holiday.
And I began wondering what even is love? So I comprised a list in my mind of what love is to me:
Love is letting someone wipe their snot on your coat sleeve.
Love is putting on costumes and going bowling on a week night and ignoring the judgmental stares from on-lookers.
Love is being with someone who makes mundane tasks feel enjoyable.
Love is telling someone stories you've never told anyone else before.
Love is feeling worth it.
Love is making someone a truly disgusting dessert and eating every last bite of it while you celebrate a made up holiday.
Love is giving someone the last bite of your favorite ice cream.
Love is laying out in the grass together on a bright Sunday afternoon.
Love is knowing someone's flaws but never mentioning them.
Love is laughing when you've just been crying because sometimes life is just stupid and beautiful.
Love is learning that you're not perfect.
Love is realizing that being perfect is boring.
Love is accepting who you are. Love is loving yourself.
I've had too many people tell me what love is or what love is supposed to be but I think it's situational. Love isn't one size fits all. I don't necessarily believe that love is having someone and every time you see them your heart does a back flip and your mind is in a tizzy. I think it's more that when you are with them you feel secure and calm inside. Because they know you and you trust them. Being with them feels like being wrapped in a soft warm blanket drinking hot cocoa on a cold rainy day. It's laying your head on their chest and hearing their heart beat and it giving you butterflies in your stomach.
But again, that's just my opinion. I think it's different for everyone.
Here's the thing--I'm weird. But so is everyone! Everyone is weird in their own way. All happy relationships are is when two weird people are lucky enough to find each other, fall into mutual weirdness and call it love.
So maybe one day I'll find it. Maybe I already have and just haven't allowed myself to know it yet.
For now, I leave you with my baditude valentine:
Stay sweet.
